The 12 Weirdest Apps Ever Made
This is a guest post by Cody Campbell, a digital marketer here in Vancouver. More about him at the bottom of this post.
With over a million mobile apps now available in the app stores, app developers should be proud of their honourable contribution to the global tech community. Their apps have made a huge difference in the lives of users around the world, both increasing, and severely decreasing, the productivity of us all.
Today we honour the eccentric people who have brought us the most outrageous, quirky and clever apps around. Without further adieu, I give you the 12 weirdest apps we could possibly find:
We all have a few contacts in our phone that should NOT be called at 1am on a Friday night. With Drunk Dialer No, you can hide contact phone numbers from your belligerent self for up to 48 hours. Never again will you wake up regretting the calls you made the night before. For all you singles with your brain below your waist, block your ex’s and say “NO” to that late night booty call!
2. Bowel Mover
Got a blockage in your pipes?! This sexy app will help you track your digestion and consumption habits on your mission to clean your system. Find out what gets you going (literally) and keep up with all your latest bowel movements. And that’s not all folks: you can even capture your latest poogress and share it with your friends!
3. Paper Racing
Now that you’ve released that pressure, its time to snag some TP and clean up the mess. This addictive game pairs you up against your friends to find out who can spin-off a roll of toilet paper the fastest. Which technique will you use; the Fast Tap or the BIG BEAR SWIPE?
Scientific Fact: Cats play video games; their favourite machine is the iPad 3.
This iPad app is world famous. It’s gotten press from the New York Times, L.A. Times, WIRED.CO.UK, Gizmodo, ABC News and more. It’s simple: cat chase laser on screen, owner like happy cat, owner get duped with in-app purchase and buy “Mouse Level”. Cat now chase small rodent on screen and catch with paw. Needless to say, this app developer has touched the hearts of crazy cat ladies worldwide.
Does your teen son or daughter act like an irrational animal? If so, it’s time to treat them like one. With Annoy-A-Teen, you can blast out irritatingly high frequency sounds that will drive them nuts. The beauty of it is your old ass ears won’t hear a thing! This app even works covertly; hide it in your pocket and those little SUCKAZ won’t know what hit ‘em!
6. The Brostache
This app is perfect for Ron Burgundy wannabe’s and the poor folks who can’t grow facial hair for ‘Movember’. Step 1: Choose one of the seven stache’s suitable for a variety of occasions: a business meeting, raging party, or hot date. Step 2: Place the phone over your mouth and speak – the moustache mouth will mimic your words.
Ghost hunting is real kids. Every Individual Paranormal Consultant worthy of note is strapped up with a state-of-the-art Paranormal EMF Meter. Now, with this snazzy gizmo, you can be a fraud too! Next time you’re walking your neighbourhood at night, whip out your EMF Meter and discover what’s really out there. Feel like you’re not alone? Watch the needle creep up the scale as you’re joined by spirits of the beyond.
OK gurrrl, us men know that if your hair nappy, you ain’t happy. It’s clear that ya’ll like Good Hair and you’ll go through hell and back to keep it looking FYNE. So what if I told you that you never had to have a bad hair day again? Darlin’, you gon’ love this app right hurrrr:
Haircaster checks the local weather conditions including humidity, wind, rain and temperature and advises women how it will impact their hair. Warnings include “STAY HOME” and “FRIZZ ALERT”. Additional styling tips are provided based on individuals’ hair texture.
If you were a pizza face like me in the 8th grade, you’re gunna rule at this game. Pick ‘n’ pop your way through eight faces tackling blackheads, whiteheads, full blown ragers and the notorious ZIT SCAB! Become a Pimple Master by perfecting special techniques for each zit. What else can I say, this app promises an ooooeyy goooeey good time. Once you pop, you just can’t stop.
Pro tip: never squeeze the tip, or you’ll have a bleeder!
Bombs away! This little gem helps you track all the places you’ve pooped in the world. It’s especially useful for those traveling through Mexico, South East Asia and India (I know you know what im sayin’!). Expand your territory, conquer the world and have a detailed map to prove it. I’m not exactly sure what kind of person it takes to use an app like this, but if you’re out there, I urge you to remain anonymous.
Whether it’s your in-laws, crazy ex-girlfriend or wild uncle Cletus, there’s always a time when you’re dying to get the heck off the phone. Most of us Canucks are too polite to tell it how it is, so we tend to lie to squeek our way out of these situations. With the help of Fake-An-Excuse, we have access to over 45 realistic excuses and sound effects to help us in times of dire need. You know, stuff like killer bee attacks, government wiretaps – the goods! Warning: don’t let your significant other see this app installed on your phone.
12. Run and Pee
This puppy right here is a MUST HAVE for every movie goer. I think we can all agree, that at one time or another, we’ve gone to the cinema and experienced a full bladder in the midst of our favourite new blockbuster. And yes, I’ve even found myself wiggling into crazy yoga poses to seal off the pressure from erupting mid-film. People, our saviour has come. Run and Pee tells you the best times to go pee during your movie and fills you in on what you’ve missed during your bathroom trip. It’s utter genius! See the full video below to fully understand the magic:
About the Author
Cody Campbell is a digital marketer based in Vancouver, working with startups and event promoters to build vibrant online communities. In his spare time, he travels the world soaking up new cultures and looking for adventure. He loves meeting new people and talking business over beer, so do say hello! Catch him on Twitter at @Cody_Campbell.